Sunday, 9:16pm: The Avenue, Hampden

Two Sundays ago the Baltimore Ravens defeated the Indianapolis Colts in the AFC Wildcard Championship.  Even as a Steelers fan, I am happy for my city and its success.  However, it seems that Ravens fans are consistantly unable to be happy for themselves.  If they win, it wasn't a good win.  If a player does something well, another player is undoubtedly doing something stupid.  They kick a field goal?  Well, they should have got the touch down. And so it goes in Baltimore.  A city that has trouble accepting wins even when they are self-serving.  This trash can is a wonderful signifyer of this.  The Ravens win the wildcard game and the fans push what was a bolted down trash can into the Avenue.  So keep creating jobs Ravens fans; punch each other in the face to give the cops something to do, tear things up for the city to repair, and by all means don't forget to put that trash can, and its contents, just wherever in the middle of a main street.  It's fine.  Even when you're winning. 

Sunday, 3:32pm: Martin's Grocery Store, LaVale, MD: SPECIAL HOLIDAY EDITION

The American grocery store. Home of club card tilapia, year-long supplies of strawberries, and of course, the salad bar complete with hard boiled eggs and blue cheese crumbles. After picking up our family-size trays of steamed shrimp, finish-in-three-bite sandwiches, and shipped-from-Chile mixed fruit arrangement, Jaime Sawyers and I witnessed this beauty: The I-Wanted-A-Specific-Kind-Of-Salad-So-Much-That-I-Worked-To-Put-It-Together-Myself-But-Fuck-It-I-Changed-My-Mind-I'm-Putting-It-Wherever Salad. Dear, sweet, suburban, grocery store goer, just leave that incredibly perishable item that can't be re-sold wherever.  Oh yeah, and while you're at it don't forget your 50 piece box of frozen jalepeno popppers that you know you're going to eat for lunch instead.