This, ladies and gentlemen, is an ALMOST empty gallon of 2% milk sitting casually near the door of our local post office. Somebody, somewhere in Hampden, was like, "You know what I could go for on this hot ass sunny day? A cold gallon of 2%." I would like to stress that this particular brand of milk can only be purchased at your local Wal-Mart. So some dude didn't just roll into a Sleven or ROFO for his cool gallon, but rather, pulled this from a fridge in a Wal-Mart, like, 7 miles away, and was like, "Oh yeah. You's is gettin' drank." NO. This is an inappropriate amount of milk to drink on a June day in Baltimore, or EVER, ANYWHERE. Now, I know what you all are thinking. You are thinking, "What about the key?!" Yes, the key. I'm going with the theory that these items have completely separate stories and have, through Baltimore Trail Magic, found their way to each other, for us.
God bless the peoples of Charm City just putting that almost drank gallon of 2% milk right there, next to that tiny key.
